54.

on sunday i made myself a little nest in the back corner of a local coffee shop. i worked all morning to complete a final paper on white protestant churches in the south and the perpetuation of white supremacist sentiments in the era of Jim Crow.

just as i completed editing the last footnote a friend of mine invited me for a walk. i took flight and as i entered into my neighborhood i was greeted by artists, vendors, dancers, musicians, and a lot of joyful people. it was a little surreal, but definitely the best pick-me-up after an entire day of screen staring and paper writing.

this man, in particular gave me a gift of silliness and joy. not sure if you can read it, but he's playing some tunes on his "Peace Wave Generator" and singing songs about recycling.

i am now going to dive into my final paper that i have been dreading. i just had a little talk with myself though about these feelings of dread, about the negative energy that the pressure of these final days has the potential to put on me, and i just realized that very, very soon i will most certainly miss this life. i will miss making arguments, diving deeper, and talking with people about ideas. there will certainly be more reflection on the nature of these feelings, these endings, this uncertainty, later. for right now i'm going to give this last paper all i got left in me - all my little brain can manage. i'm going to enjoy it, revel in this opportunity that i've been given one last time. wish me luck.