102.

[An open letter to 2012 typed at the Raleigh-Durham airport on January 2nd]

Dear 2012. -or-

How all this airport sitting has me thinking of the future.

It may only be appropriate that this year my year in review is done at the airport.

More than any other year of my life I’ve been quite the jetsetter. Not to anywhere extravagant; just to the places that have become extraordinary in my heart.

Mostly these places are qualified by the folks who make their lives there, the way the sun falls upon land that has nothing but itself to offer, and how I fit into all of it. This year I zoomed into and out Georgia, Tennessee, the Carolinas, Minnesota, New Hampshire, Vermont, DC, New York, and California. The people in these places pull me back and the beauty that those folks help me recognize fills me up with whatever sort of fuel I need to return on my lonesome to my daily bread.

It’s my birthday today and so the newness of calendars beginning again is compounded with my being reminded of this life my mama gave me. As I fly up into the sky and descend to Earth for the third time today, I can't help but consider the fragility of my window seat life.

My first thought is that I’m glad to be alive. Twenty-seven is a lot of years to be able to have and I didn’t necessarily do anything to deserve them, but I think I’ve done alright. Still, though, I’d like to do better this year. To that end, 2012 and 27, I’d like to make some decisions about living. Here’s what I want out of this partnership of ours.

The following are things I'd like to always remember and never forget for you and your sister years to come...

love, to be thankful for the future, but also for today’s joy (especially the smallest ones), mailmen and women, the graciousness of my Grandmother, the importance of my solitude, my health, my physical self, my mind, my need to think for a long while about most things, that as one of my former student’s would always remind me, “There is no such thing as normal,” that people are good, that people are struggling, that we all have our own journeys, to listen and listen well, to be outside, to sit with the sunshine on my face and breath. To be patient with myself and the people I love, to dance a little more, to learn to like martinis, to polish my boots every now and then, to write some more songs, learn some pickin’ patterns, my desire to do a yoga handstand, to write more letters, make more books, make more videos, create my cheese plates and manhattans review business, learn to like a little rap, get a record player for my lonely silenced records, get Sully back, to settle on down somewhere and remember that I have all I need to sustain me within my own head and heart, but that it’s okay to need other folks every now and then too.

Oh, and this year I'd like to set aside time to read Faulkner...and get it.