21.

this is the quietest Christmas Eve I've ever had.

every year of my life up to this point, has filled this day with many generations of kinfolk. sisters, brothers, babies gurgling, big trees, peanut brittle, cookies, card games, Christmas movies, overstuffed (and very practical) stockings, buttermilk biscuits, half-eaten cookies leftover from the Santa that my mom still remembers us believing in.

now this is only in my dreams, last night I dreamt of some

terrifying collision between school, family, and friendlies.

as I shook the sleep-dust away I almost forgot it was the Eve of the big day. I made some french press coffee for yours truly and sat in my living room thinking about work.

My other half's suggested an early gift exchange. Here's my first Christmas loot and a picture of my hushed Christmas Eve:

this morning is just Sully, Si finishing up work, Me finishing up work, and Bonny and his new friends from Louisville reminding me of the home I want to settle in one day.

when you are away from everything that is always there you realize what was always there.

and how lucky you are to hold that everything.

artifacts that make me think of home:

card from Grampy and Grandma

Christmas tree

Silk Nog

Sully cat...always feels like home